Family Dining

July 1, 2009 at 11:42 am | Posted in Life | 2 Comments
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Encountered on my travels last night, this rather plain looking coffee table.

Table ClosedBut wait. There’s more.

Say that you’re, oh, I don’t know, sitting on your couch ordering a pizza through your TV. What do you do when said pizza arrives? Do you quit the television, that ever-present, ever-glowing, mind-numbing additional member of your family? Do you vacate the couch in favor of a dining room table, mayhaps to sup with your family and enjoy some evening conversation?

No, sir and madam, you need not.

What you can do, and really, why wouldn’t you, is raise your living room table to proper height and distance such that your television viewing experience may remain uninterrupted while you dine comfortably from your couch. But getting your coffee table to the proper height would be so difficult, you say.

I present you:

Table OpenDear reader, I swear that I am not being facetious here. This is the stated purpose of this table. To enable eating from the couch because, and I’m paraphrasing here, “who wants to get up from the TV just to eat dinner.”

I stood, marveling at this monstrosity, rubbing my temples in despair.

America. Please. I am begging you.

Stop. Just…..just stop it.

There is still time to turn this all around.

No sleep ’til

January 9, 2009 at 9:10 am | Posted in Movies, Music, Television, Video Games | 2 Comments
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I write this blog while drinking my second coffee of the morning, meant to stave off the exhaustion brought on by a continuing, and increasing, amount of sleep deprivation. I’m getting 4-5 hours a night right now. This is by choice, but when saying that, understand that it is in fact choice brought on by necessity.

I fear that I am suffering from content overload. There is simply too much media available to me these days and I cannot find time to consume it all. Well, I can, but other things (sleep, sanity) are suffering in its wake. I realize that this, on its face, sounds a bit whiny and absurd. I recognize that there are people in the world that can work all day, come home, eat dinner, go to bed and begin the process anew the following day (well rested, even).

I am not these people. I suffer from an overwhelming desire to spend some amount of my time each day doing something, anything, that I find interesting and that makes me happy. I’ve seen studies that suggest that this is some kind of generational thing; Baby Boomers tend to identify themselves primarily based on their jobs, while we Gen X’ers identify ourselves more via what we do with our personal time. That being the underlying assumption of our collective psyche, it’s not hard to make the leap of logic that allows you to understand the following:

If I arrive at my sense of self based almost entirely upon what I do with my free time, I cannot in good conscience spend the majority of that time sleeping.

So I don’t. I work for a solid portion of the day, attend school on some evenings, and then I  consume. Video games (of which there are always new, ever longer experiences available), blogs (upwards of two dozen now), traditional news (NYT, WSJ), podcasts (this deserves a post all of its own), books (both prose and comic), movies, and television (my TiVo has 20 hours of content on it right now – and that’s the lowest level its had for the past four months).

Where you get upside down is when someone introduces some new piece of media to you that you’ve somehow missed. Because now you are behind.

I don’t know that there is a solution here. I may simply be doomed for life. I remember, years and years ago, reading Jack Welch’s autobiography, where he reveals that he only slept about five hours a night and read up to three newspapers a day. At the time I found that concept to be quite intimidating.

Now it seems a bit quaint.

My Country Tisathee

November 18, 2008 at 8:10 am | Posted in Business, TV | 3 Comments
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I was floored last night when I saw this on my TiVo while fast-forwarding through some commercials.

tivo-pizza

You can now order Domino’s pizza from your TiVo. From your remote.

This morning, though, any warm feelings that I had about the idea were dashed when I read the Domino’s VP of Marketing’s statement on the new experience:

“We believe that interactive television ordering is the future,” Mr. Weisberg says. “Why even get up off that couch now?”

America. My friend. You are moving in the wrong direction.

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