Brand new dawg

September 20, 2008 at 8:04 am | Posted in Dogs | 3 Comments
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We have, for a little over three years, been the proud parents of one Ms. Lulu – a twelve pound black-and-tan Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.

She is happy and effusive and loving of all people, though a bit nervous around bigger dogs. She is also very civic minded, and took this year’s primaries very, very seriously.

Lulu is a dream of a dog. She sleeps late, loves playing fetch, and goes to barbecues and Christmas parties. Save for one incident involving an accident on a friend’s white carpet, she is always the perfect guest.

After many years of debate (read: nagging), I gave in and agreed that it would, in fact, be nice for Lulu to have a companion while we are at work all day (though I’m pretty sure that she’s perfectly happy without one, what with the TiVo and Playstation available).

My wife managed to track down another Cavalier named Tully in western Pennsylvania. She is a rescue dog, having been saved from an Amish puppy mill by a nice family that does this (rescues dogs) as a much more socially conscious hobby than my own. We drove out to PA to pick up Tully last night; she is a beautiful dog as well (you’ll have to excuse the quality of the picture below, I am sans camera this weekend).

Tully is also three years old, but has had a much different life experience than our lovely Lulu. You see, Tully spent the past three years living in a wire bottom cage in an Amish puppy mill. She was bred (we don’t know how many times), and unloved, and made to live in a wire box not much larger than her own small frame. For three years.

While Lulu fetched in the park, Tully sat in a cage. While Lulu went to parades and played with children, Tully sat in a cage. When Lulu stealthily devoured a wedge of Manchego cheddar at one of our cocktail parties, Tully was sitting, sullen and alone, in a cage.

It is, in a word, unconscionable. 

She is skittish and afraid and nervous around people. She is unsure of how to do basic things, like walk up steps or eat a dog treat. She frequently flinches and is constantly on alert. I take some solace in the fact that she seems to really like Lulu and she wags her tail when you squeak a dog toy. 

We now begin what I expect will be the long process of socializing this dog and making her feel comfortable and safe in our home.  I encourage you to stop by and meet Ms. Tully if you live in the area; perhaps you’ll find yourself washed over with an intense mixture of love, pity, and anger as I do. 

There are no jokes in this post, except maybe the fact that these horrible, awful people who did this thing to this beautiful, innocent creature are Amish, and perhaps the joke is already on them.

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Tickets heeeere!

September 18, 2008 at 11:24 am | Posted in News | 3 Comments
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I am distressed by the notion that the free market’s solution to fiscal insolvency these days seems to be “Sell ourselves to the government!”

In the past month, we’ve seen the Fed bail out Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, and AIG. There are signs that the Automotive industry will be next, followed by the Airline industry. This troubles me deeply, being the free-marketeer that I am. It is all predicated on this “too big to fail” notion that, by it’s very language, implies that there exist somewhere a population of organizations that must be “insignificant enough to fail.” I would love to see that list.

Since we, as taxpayers, seem to be getting into the business of business, I posit that we should also be allowed to enjoy the benefits of business. By this I of course mean getting free tickets and swag to corporate sponsored events; let us begin this list anon:

1) We all clearly should be in possession of tickets to any and all Manchester United games. Credit to my friend Tommy for pointing this out to me.

2) Ditto goes for passes to the Breeders’ Cup. As AIG had the vision to sign this (presumably) multi-million dollar deal on the day they were collapsing, I submit to you that we all should all be allowed to actually ride the horses.

3) Can’t make it to England or California? Don’t fret, we’ve got you covered with free tickets to Triple-A ball clubs in almost every major market! Go Bisons!

4) I’m not necessarily interested in the history of Africans in America, but maybe you are. Call Fannie and request your free copy today.

5) I want a free meal here, as they are apparently owned by AIG.

6) Ever been interested in Squash (the sport, not the vegetable)? Folks in Western Mass are apparently very concerned about the future of their sport following the Bear Sterns collapse. Help assuage their fears by showing up to their next game and demanding free admittance.

7) I am trying very, very hard to not make a joke about the fact that Freddie Mac (the home mortgage company) is a lead sponsor for the Hoops for the Homeless charity. You know, for people without homes. Because maybe, you know, they lost them. When they stopped paying their mortgage. To Freddie Mac. Annnnnnnd now I’m making fun of homeless people.

Apologies in advance to the ladyinwaiting for making merryment amidst your misery.

39 days and counting…

September 17, 2008 at 9:59 pm | Posted in Video Games | 2 Comments
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I admit with no reservation that I am teeming with excitement for the opportunity to soon play such timeless classics as Eye of the Tiger and Livin’ on a Prayer on my plastic fisher-price instrument of choice…

…but, really, Activision? This is your promotional imagery for your new game?

Way to nail your target demographic, fella’s.

And now for the ladies: set your calendar reminders for Monday, when Georgia Pacific launches their new three ply toilet paper. They plan to market their product to, and I swear, I’m not making this up, “women who view their bathroom as a sanctuary for quality time.

Let it be known that said women are also always welcome here.

I’m getting a Treo.

September 16, 2008 at 8:25 pm | Posted in New Orleans | 4 Comments
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Today’s winner for the “I can’t see the forest through all these trees!” award goes to the city of New Orleans for it’s new Truancy Initiative. The city with the highest murder rate per capita in the country is going to focus it’s Sheriff’s on truancy. Maybe they just feel safer patrolling during the day and this gives them a good excuse.

I have no category for this, but apparently Bristol Palin is now marriedCongratulations?

Also, John McCain invented the Blackberry. In related news, I invented pudding.

 

Einstein it is not…

September 13, 2008 at 3:54 pm | Posted in Music | 1 Comment
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The new iTunes (besides crippling my Airtunes capabilities) has added a new “Genius” feature. The idea being that it will look at what you’re listening to and make recommendations on other music you may like. iTunes has always had some manner of this functionality, but apparently they’ve upgraded it.

Beware.

As I am still in the gestation period of this blog, I will again re-post an old entry of mine.

People in Planes – As Far as the Eye Can See


  

iTunes told me that if I liked “Bloc Party,” then I would love “People in Planes”…which is akin to someone asking you if you like blowjobs, and then punching you in the testicles instead.

SURE, you can argue that both actions produce a sensation in the same general AREA, but I would hardly call the two analagous.

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